Abbey's Road

"We're not going back out, Zack."

Hearing those words come out of Brian's mouth, Zacky couldn't help but sigh. After losing Jimmy so suddenly, they had all been reluctant to leave their loved ones. But nearly two weeks had passed since they'd buried Jimmy, and Zacky was beginning to get antsy. Abbey was still out there somewhere and he had to find her.

"Then I'll go by myself," Zacky stated.

Brian closed his chocolate brown eyes. His friend was blinded by grief; he wasn't thinking clearly. "You can't go by yourself," he explained to the emerald-eyed man. "Don't you remember all of the shit you got into while we were out with you? If you leave by yourself, who knows what would happen?" Not only that, but Brian and the others had noticed lately that Zacky's depression had reached new lows. It was one of the last things Jimmy had lamented on before his death. And the last thing Brian wanted was another late-night phone call that would rip his heart from his chest.

"But I have to find Abbey!" Zacky shouted. He clenched his fists at his sides. "I need her, Brian. You've got to understand. She's all I've got left--"

"What about your parents?" Brian interrupted. "Your brother and sister? Us?"

"It's not the same!" Zacky screamed, turning on his friend. His calmness had fled. Brian didn't understand. None of them would ever understand. They had a warm body next to them at night while Zacky's bed was cold. They had someone to hold them and comfort them as they mourned for their brother. Zacky had no one but empty walls to listen to his sobs. "I can't do all the things that I did with Abbey with any of you. I can't kiss you, can't hold you, can't make love to you. I need Abbey back. I need to--"

"Goddammit, I can't lose you too, Zack!" Brian howled. Zacky immediately fell silent, shocked at his friend's outburst. "I've already lost Jimmy. It would kill me - Matt and Johnny, too - to have to put another one of my brothers in the ground."

Zacky's anger ebbed away. He knew Brian was being sincere; he would never lie about something like that. But in the end, Zacky could not be swayed. He would not give up until Abbey was in his arms again. "I have to go, Brian," he whispered. "I know you and the guys are worried, but...I just have to. I can't just sit here with all of the 'what if?'s. It'll drive me crazy."

Brian laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Then go," he said. "If it's that damn important to you, then go. But the rest of us are staying behind. We were away from our families and our girls for a long time, and we're tired."

"I understand." Zacky moved away from Brian and retrieved a picture from his pocket. He ran his thumb over Abbey's face, wishing more than ever that he could see her infectious smile again. He sighed. "But I'm not giving up on her. Not yet."

♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪

Waresboro, Georgia
Population: 6724

It felt strange for Zacky to be in Abbey's hometown without her. He'd always imagined traveling with her and finally seeing the place that had produced his beautiful Georgia peach. But as with most other things, that plan had fallen apart, and now Zacky was here alone hundreds of miles from home, hoping to find some answers.

Beyond the name of the town, however, Zacky had no idea where to start searching for Abbey. This wasn't a big town by any means, but to someone who wasn't from the area, navigating it was a bit daunting. After a bit of aimless driving, Zacky decided to stop off at a gas station and ask around about Abbey. This way, he figured he'd either find Abbey or find out that he needed to move on.

The young man running the counter looked up when Zacky walked into the gas station. He raised a hand in greeting and Zacky nodded in return. He could sense the man's eyes on his back as he walked around the convenience store, and Zacky scowled. He knew it was because of his tattoos; people saw the ink on his skin and automatically assumed that he was a hoodlum. Sure, he'd gotten into trouble in his youth, but Abbey had tamed him.

"Is that all for you?" the man asked as Zacky laid his items on the counter.

"Let me get two packs of Pall Mall Oranges," Zacky said, gesturing to the rack of cigarettes behind the man's head. As Zacky peeled a twenty from his wallet, he added, "By the way, you wouldn't happen to know anything about a girl named Abbey Ketterling, would you? She's kinda short, with shoulder-length brown hair and beautiful gray eyes. She would've arrived in the past few days."

The man furrowed his brow in concentration. "I can't think of anyone matching that description, but her name sounds a little familiar." Zacky perked up, feeling hopeful about possibly having found a lead. "She from around here?"

"She lived here when she was little," Zacky explained. "I think she said she lived over on some street called MacMahan street?"

The man suddenly snapped his fingers, causing Zacky to jump a bit. "Now I know why that name sounds so familiar! Some people named Ketterling used to live over on MacMahan across the street from my grandma. But they moved away twenty years ago."

Zacky's smile slid from his face. Now, this lead seemed to be more of a dead end. "So you don't know anyone I could talk to about Abbey?" he asked, crestfallen.

The man sighed. He produced a scrap of paper from a notebook laying nearby and scribbled something on it. "This is my grandparents' address," he said, handing the paper to Zacky. "If anyone will be able to tell you anything about this girl you're asking about, it'll be them. Just tell 'em Josh sent you."

"Alright, thanks," Zacky gushed. He collected his purchased items from the counter and flew out of the convenience store.

♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪

When Zacky arrived at the address given to him by the man at the convenience store, he made no hesitation to knock on the door. An older woman answered, and when she saw Zacky standing on her doorstep, her eyes widened and she called for her husband. But then Zacky mentioned the name the man at the convenience store had given him, and the woman visibly relaxed.

"I just wanted to ask you if you knew anything about a woman named Abbey Ketterling," Zacky said softly as the woman led him into her kitchen. It was a quaint little place, and Zacky couldn't help but wonder if Abbey had ever visited this place as a little girl.

"The name Ketterling sounds familiar," the old woman mused. "But not the name Abbey, I'm afraid."

"Well maybe you knew Kate and David Ketterling?" Zacky put in hurriedly. "Those were her parents. They lived here about twenty years ago and then moved to California."

The woman smiled. "Ah yes, those names sound familiar." She gestured out the window at a house across the street and to the right. "They lived right over there, if I'm not mistaken. They were a sweet little couple and they had so many children! Four little boys and then Kate finally got her girls. I remember her coming to me after her and David returned from the UK she said that she was expecting again. I knew just from the sparkle in her eyes that she was having a little girl. And then four years later, their second little girl came along." She paused and chuckled. "I think after that, they decided they'd had enough. But they had a precious little family."

Zacky smiled. "That sounds like them," he whispered. "Abbey was Kate and David's oldest daughter. They named her after the Beatles album 'Abbey's Road'."

"You had a special connection with this girl, didn't you?" the woman asked, her voice soft and tentative. Zacky closed his eyes and nodded. Special couldn't even begin to describe his relationship with Abbey. His relationship with Abbey was salvation and damnation, it was the sun and stars, it was the universe and everything in it. Without Abbey, his life almost didn't seem to be worth living.

Zacky's eyes shot open. The thought of ending everything hadn't once crossed his mind until this point, because the thought of having Abbey in his arms again had propelled him forward. He hadn't wanted to imagine never having Abbey back in his life. But now that he had, purely by accident, suicide almost seemed like an option. It seemed...tempting.

'Goddammit, I can't lose you too, Zack!'

Brian's voice rang through Zacky's head, vibrating off of his temples and rattling his brain. What was he thinking? There was no way he could put his friends through that sort of pain, and certainly not so soon after they lost Jimmy.

"Are you okay, dear?" The old woman's voice shook Zacky from his reverie. He quickly focused and noticed the woman staring at him with evident sympathy. "You've been staring into space for about two minute now."

"Yeah, I'm fine," Zacky replied. He slicked a hand back through his raven-black hair. "Listen, thank you for your time, but I've really got to go. Sorry if I bothered you."

"I didn't upset you, did I?" the old woman fretted. "My husband always tells me I talk too much." Zacky assured the old woman that the change in his demeanor wasn't her fault. He was in an emotionally fragile state; his mood changed at the drop of a hat. Or at the mention of a certain gray-eyed Georgia beauty. "Well then, before you go, I've got something to give you."

"I can't take anything from you," Zacky refused, holding up a hand. He'd already taken too much of this sweet woman's time.

"Oh, it's nothing like that, dear," she chided. Without giving Zacky a chance to respond, the woman disappeared into the next room, and Zacky could hear what sounded like shuffling papers. "A young woman stopped by a few days ago and asked that I give this to a man who fit your description," the woman explained as she came back into the kitchen. In her wrinkled hand she held an envelope, which she pressed into Zacky's hands.

"T-Thank you," Zacky stuttered. He offered the old woman one last, weak smile. "Thanks again for your time."

"It's no problem, dear." The old woman smiled and waved, and Zacky took this opportunity to dart out of the house.

The envelope sat like a ticking time bomb in the passenger seat as Zacky drove to a hotel. He knew it had to be from Abbey. Who else would leave mail for him in Georgia? Unless the woman had given it to him by mistake. Zacky hoped more than anything that the latter wasn't the case, because that would mean he'd hit another dead end in his search.

On the inside of the front flap of the envelope was Zacky's name, written in an all too familiar looping script. He traced his rough fingers over the angular zig-zag of the 'Z', the long tail of the 'y' that made a strike through the rest of the word. This was definitely Abbey's handwriting. Once this realization truly hit him, Zacky ripped the letter from the envelope so fast that himself a paper cut, but he was hardly aware of that.

My dear Zacky,

I hope this letter gets to you. I didn't want to give that sweet old woman our names nor burden her with our story. I just want to let you know that your journey is almost over. At your next stop you will finally get the answers that have eluded you so far.

Enclosed is a round-trip ticket to London. Once you're there, head for Abbey Road, and then to the Buekeland Hotel. Tell them your name; they'll be expecting you and will show you to your room which I've already paid for. Depending on what you find there, you'll need to check the nightstand for an envelope. Follow the instructions inside as closely as possible.

I love you, Zacky. More than you could ever know. And I promise that we'll be together again soon.

Love, Abbey

When Zacky called the others to let them know that he was traveling to London, they did their best to talk him out of it. It was worrying enough to have him traversing the country alone, let alone Europe. But as usual when it came to Abbey, Zacky's stubbornness proved to be an issue. He'd already made the decision to go to London, and he would not be swayed. So Brian, Johnny, and Matt had no choice but to wish Zacky luck and hope that he would return safely to California very soon.

"Zacky Baker," Zacky told the crisply-dressed man behind the front counter. "I was told you would be expecting me?"

"Ah yes." The man turned to the wall behind him and plucked a key from one of the many hooks. "Room 407. Your companion has already arrived and is waiting for you."

His companion? What on Earth could that mean? Zacky's mind was a hurricane of thoughts as he made his way to his room. Had Abbey sent someone here to wait for him? Maybe it was a lawyer, sent here to discuss Abbey's will, although Zacky couldn't quite understand the logic behind this scenario. Or maybe it was a priest, waiting to give him the news he'd dreaded most in the entire world.

But nothing Zacky was expecting could have prepared him for what actually awaited him in Room 407. Nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of shock that would make him feel as though his heart were being ripped from his chest. Nothing could have prepared him, nothing at all.

Notes