An Epic of Time Wasted

~~~ Bella's pov ~~~

the dinner party was going better than expected and I was beyond relieved. After everything today, I couldn't handle another disaster. Everyone got their food and settled around the house, eating and socializing when I saw the font door open and zacky walk in. I was relieved and nervous at the Same time, but in all honesty I didn't expect him to show up at all.

" Hey" he shyly said, waving at me as he made his way over.

" thanks for coming" I smiled back, handing him a cold beer once he made it to me. We both stood awkwardly before each other, both struggling to find the right thing to say.

" look zacky...." I began until zacky put his finger to my lips to silence me. I gazed up at him slightly amused at his cliche move. He pulled his finger away chuckling, once he realized what he did.

" Bella, your a beautiful girl and I would do anything for you. I just know that neither one of us needs to jump into anything right now and I don't want to ruin our friendship" he said as he eyed me closely.

" I totally agree. I guess I just....... I don't know" I shrugged, not sure how to explain my earlier actions. He grabbed me and hugged me as if he understood what I was trying to find the words to say. And after that it was like the kiss never even happened. Which was good, I didn't want to always have an awkward force looming around us everytime were in the same room. But even with that little hurdle out of the way, I still couldn't shake the feeling I got when I remembered how jimmy snapped at me earlier. The whole night I continuously racked my brain trying to figure out what I could have done for him to talk to me like that. But to no avail, I had nothing. Not even a morsel of an idea and it was beginning to drive me insane. About midnight everyone began to file out and head home. I washed up the dishes and straightened up the house. Once I finished I slipped on my shoes and headed out to the car. It's as if my body was on auto pilot, and I was going to find out from jimmy exactly what his issue was. As I drove along my mind was a blank. Usually I like to over think everything to death, but I was on a mission and didn't have time to strategize, I just wanted answers. I pulled up to his house and jumped out of the car and ran up the front steps. I knocked loudly and noticed that the door was cracked open.

" Jimmy" I squeaked as I eased the front door slightly open as I peaked Inside. There was no answer and no sign of anyone downstairs. So I stepped inside and that's when I noticed a trail of boxers, panties and stilettos making its way up the steps. As well as a litter of beer and liquor bottles amongst the lingerie sprawled everywhere. That's when I noticed the faint sound of a woman moaning upstairs. I felt a twinge of hurt as the carnal noises invaded my brain.

" fuck it" I huffed as I turned and left the house. I was confused before, but now I didn't even know what I was or what I felt. Not only did I not get any answers but he ditched me for some cheap fuck. I just didn't understand what was going on with him, I mean its not like he has to drop everything for me. But he was one person I could always have fun with and it wasn't anything complicated. I could be myself and have fun and now it just felt like I lost a friend and I didn't know why. Once back I stepped inside my house and flipped on the kitchen light.

" Shit!" I shrieked when the light not only illuminated the room but also illuminated Brian sitting on my couch making my heart jump out of my chest.

" Brian! What the......" I growled. But my voice left me as I noticed he didn't even look up. He just kept his head in his hands and it looked like he was crying. I stood paralyzed as I just stared at him not sure what to think. I peeked behind me out my window seeing Matt walking around in their kitchen. I turned slowly and made my way to the door and go get Matt.

" I don't know when I became such a monster" Brian said somberly. My body froze as I reached for the knob. His voice and words throwing me off. I lowered my hand back down to my side and turned to face his direction once again seeing his head still down.

" Brian what are you doing here?!" I asked with a bite of anger in my words. I braced myself for him to flip out on me but he didn't move a muscle. It was like he didn't even hear me or acknowledge my presence.

" It didn't always used to be like this" he said as he slowly raised his head to look at me. I stared at him studying his face and his red tear filled eyes, how helpless and sad he looked. Almost pleading.

" You remind me of Michele when we first met. When we were younger and couldn't keep our hands off each other" he wiped the tears as they streamed down his cheeks. I wanted to yell and scream and tell him to get the fuck out but for some reason I couldn't speak. I just kept looking at him, waiting as he fought to compose himself between his words.

" I'm older now...... I'm not the young stud I used to be. It's just not the same. It's nice to have young girls falling all over me, willing to do anything to just touch me. " he said. I folded my arms tightly over my chest as I saw what he was getting at.

" So, you cheat on your wife because you feel old?!" I growled.

" you don't understand, it's hard getting older and not feeling like the same person. They make me feel young again, sexy. " he explained.

" I know it's not right what I did to you. But you remind me of the good ol days. You remind me of being young and crazy. " I just stared at him in bewilderment.

" Well how do you think Michelle feels?! Did you ever stop to think that maybe she feels the same as you?! That's she's getting older and her own fucking husband who vowed to love her forever is out fucking groupies cause he feels old?!?! And her own sister because it reminds him of the good ol days?!" I screamed. My blood began to boil and I felt as if steam was pouring from my ears. I couldn't believe this was happening........

Notes