An Epic of Time Wasted

~~~ Bella's pov ~~~

" fuck" I sleepily groaned as I unwillingly awoke from my drunken slumber, only to have the bright California sun sear into my corneas through my eyelids. I sat up slowly, clutching my pounding head in my hand. That's when last night came flooding back into my mind. All the rage and anger, but then the slight memory of someone carrying me to bed and god only knows what else. I peeked around the room seeing that I was by myself, hoping that maybe it was just a dream. But that notion was quickly crushed as I heard the bathroom toilet flush and the sink turn on. Normally I would dismiss my paranoia, assuming it was just Matt or Val. But since the bathroom in question was in the very same room I was in, that wasn't a plausible explanation. My head throbbed and my stomach churned at the thought of who it could be and what could have happened last night. And I wasn't in the mood to stick around and find out either. I slid out of bed and smoothed out my wrinkled clothes and left the house. This time I knew exactly where I was going and wasn't going to let anything deter me from my mission. As I walked along, I mulled over what I was going to do and that I couldn't put it off any longer. Well atleast if I wanted to keep any small peice of sanity I might still possibly have left. I took a deep breathe as I climbed the front steps and rang the doorbell. I stood there for what felt like an eternity, fighting my body from wanting to run away before it was too late. After standing there for a few minutes with no answer at the door, I turned and began descending the steps.

" Bella" I turned as I heard Michelle's soft voice as she stood in the doorway. I turned and made my way hesitantly back up the steps towards her. All my courage that I had mustered up on the way over here had suddenly vanished as she stood before me. Her face was drawn and riddled with pain and sadness. Even though I didn't ask for any of this to happen, I still felt guilty and horrible that she felt like this. We both stood speechless just gazing helplessly at one another, like we both had so much to say but no courage to say it. After a few moments she turned and walked into the house, leaving the door wide open. So I took that as an unspoken invitation as I followed in not too far behind her.

" miche....." I began to say but was cut off as she slumped down on the couch.

" I'm so sorry" she whispered, her voice slightly cracking. She dropped her head into her hands and began crying. I was taken aback for a minute that she was apologizing to me and not ripping my head off. I didn't know what to say, I hadn't planned for this in my brain storm on the way over here.

" I'm so sorry Bella that I pushed you away. I'm sorry that I treated you like that" she wept, her head still buried in Her hands. I over came my shock and joined her on the couch, putting my hand on her knee.

" I'm sorry that all this happened. I just want you to know that I love you and Val and would never intentionally do anything to hurt either of you. I lived twenty eight years without a family, thinking that my family wanted nothing at all to do with me" I said my eyes swelling up with tears as all the memories played in my mind. She brought her head up slowly, looking over at me as the tears flowed down her cheeks.

" and some sister I am, huh" she scoffed at herself.

" Michelle, I can't blame you for being upset about all of this. And I feel horrible that it happened. But I don't want it to be like this, it can't be like this" I said. She somberly nodded and reached out wrapped her arms around me.

" Brian and I have been having problems for a while, he's always had an issue with keeping his hands to himself. And deep down I knew your allegations were true, but I didn't want to accept it." She sniffled as she released me from the hug and looked me in the eyes.

" As fucked up as it is, it was easier to just blame it all on you than to face up to the reality of my crumbling marriage. And that is horrible and I am beyond ashamed and remorseful for my actions Bella" she sobbed. I felt a twinge of pain in my chest as she poured her heart out to me. I was elated that things were looking good as far as our relationship but I couldn't help the tourment I felt as a result of her and Brian's decaying marriage and that her heart was broken and there was nothing I could do to help her.

" Michelle, I love you. And just know that I'm always here for you no matter what and I want us to be happy again" I said, smiling at her the best I could at the moment.

" Ho's before bro's" she chuckled lightly as we hugged once more.

~~~ zackys pov ~~~

" honey Im home!" I yelled out in my best Ricky Ricardo voice I could muster as I shut my front door. Majesty came flying out of the kitchen to meet me at the door way.

" I missed you too girl" I cooed as I bent slightly to pet her as she slobbered kisses all over my entire face, causing me to chuckle. I grabbed a beer and let majesty out to run around In The back hard while I headed up stairs to take a shower. I stripped out of my smoke Infused clothes and sighed out as I stepped into the steaming shower. As much as I wanted to stay out of all the family drama going on, I just couldn't wrap my mind around all of it. I've known Brian for years and I know he's a horn dog but I just couldn't get over what he did. How could he do that to Michelle? The woman he vowed to spend the rest of his life with. And put Bella through all that shit too, she finally gets the family she's always wanted and now it's going all to shit. And the most recent development was a real mind fuck. I still wasn't one hundred percent in the loop about the whole me and Bella sex story. I tried repeatedly to get someone to ellaborate on what happened but Matt wasn't feeling too friendly, Brian was in denial and good old short shit was so drunk he didn't even know which end was up. So long story short, I was confused as shit. I was hoping that before I left their house this morning I would be able to sweet talk someone Into giving me the whole story, but the house was practically a fucking ghost town when I left. Once out of the shower I dressed in some basket ball shorts and headed back downstairs to work on some new t shirts ideas for my clothing line. I was so into what I was doing I didn't notice the faint knock at the front door, until the second more agressive one came. I jumped up from my seat and strolled over and tossed the front door open.

" Hey, come on In!" I chirped as Bella stood before me. I softly smiled at her deshevled appearance, but as always she still looked adorable. She walked in and shut the door, still without saying a word.

" So I heard you gave zz top a run for their money last night" I chuckled, turning back to see her still standing in the foyer shyly, fumbling with her hands. My smile dropped and I walked over to her and placed my finger under her chin, raising it up.

" You okay?" I asked her, alittle concerned by her silence. She just looked up at me with a pleading, helpless look in her eyes that I couldn't quite read.

" Bella, don't let all this shit get you down. It will get better I promise." I warmly smiled, as I rubbed her arms with my hands. Before I knew what was happening Bella smashed her lips with mine, tangling her hands in my hair. It caught me off guard but I couldn't help but kiss her back in that very moment, until my mind told me that this wasn't right and I pulled away.

" Bella, we can't do this. I care about you a lot, just not like that" I said. She just looked at me as I could see the pure embarrassment and rejection burn in her eyes.

" oh......." She sighed as her arms dropped back down to her sides. It felt as if someone stabbed a dagger into my gut as I watched the tears she tried with all her might to fight back.
" Bella, wait....." I said as she turned and walked to the door. She stopped in her tracks, keeping her back towards me as she reached for the door knob.

" I'm sorry for bothering you...... Ill see you around" she said and with that she was gone. I stood there just staring at the door not sure how to digest all of this. I felt like a dick for turning her down but at the same time I knew this was the last thing either of us needed right now and I didn't want to give her the wrong idea.

~~~ Jimmy's pov ~~~

" answer your phone bitch" I grumbled to myself as I heard zackys voicemail play for the fifteenth time this morning. I threw my cell into the passenger seat as I decided to just stop by his house, since getting him to answer his phone was such an impossible feat. I rolled down my car window and turned up the radio as I drove along. I smiled to myself as images of bella danced in my head. and the feeling i got when i got to hold her as she slept. for years now me actually sleeping through the night was unheard of. but with bella next to me it was effortless. when i had stopped by matt and vals house last night everything and everyone was in turmoil. and then i stumble across bella passed out drunk on the bathroom floor downstairs. so i scooped her up and carried her to bed. with her it was different, it wasnt all about trying to get in her pants. i just wanted to comfort her and protect her, hell, i think im in love with her. I felt great and I hadn't felt like this in years. I was happy and felt like I had something to look forward to, which was just what I needed. I pulled into zackys driveway and jumped out of my car. I did a quick sigh of relief when I saw his car there, validating that my trip over here wasn't in vain. I hummed a happy tune as I strolled up his winding driveway, but my chipper mood came crashing down as I saw zacky and Bella kissing through his front window. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach as I watched them. I turned back around and got back into my car and pulled back out onto the Main Street.

" guess we all can't be happy......" I sighed.

Notes

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