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We're Going To Hell

Two Familiar Faces

“Payden, it’s been months. You have to get out eventually,” Val urged on, “You’re going to get sick.” It was mid June now, and everybody was attempting to move on. This was proving exceptionally hard for me. I read over the note he left for me every night, and kept it in my side table drawer. It was one of the last pieces of him that I had. It was the only time he had ever told me that he loved me. I shook my head slightly as I clutched my knees to my chest. I hadn’t left my house in a while. I flunked out of school. Val, Saleigh, and the guys had to bring me food every day. I was a complete and udder disaster. Every morning, my heart would just rip into two over and over again, because when I woke up, Jimmy wouldn’t be there. He wouldn’t ever be there. “Come on, you need fresh air. I promise you, if you start getting out more, you’ll start to feel better.” She kept going, but I didn’t even so much as glance at her. I just stared at the wall in front of me. “He wouldn’t want you to dwell, Payd. He would want you to move on. He loved you, he wouldn’t want to see you sad,” she said, and a tear escaped my eye.

“Then why did he do this to me,” I muttered. He told me there was a reason why he had to do it, to keep us all safe. I still had yet to figure out what that reason was.

“Apparently to keep you safe. He took his life to keep you safe, Payden. He gave his life so you could live yours, and you’re not doing it,” she said, and it clicked in my mind. He said he would always be right next to me, and he’d probably be pretty pissed off right now if he saw me like this.

“Fine,” I sighed, and she wrapped her arms around me, “But I refuse to meet any guys,” I said, not ready to get out there, quite yet.

“Nobody’s asking that of you, or expecting it,” she assured me, and I nodded, “so let’s get you into the shower, get you clean, and get you dressed. You’ve been wearing that for about a month now,” she pointed me up and down. I hadn’t seen the point in doing anything lately, so I was only just laying down all of the time.

“Okay,” I pushed myself up, wobbling a little bit. I had gotten a little weak from lack of using any muscles. She walked me to the bathroom, and I closed the door once I got in. I turned on the shower and stripped off my clothes as I waited for the water to warm up. I got in and for the first time in a few weeks, and actually cleaned myself. My hair had been oily, I had dirt all over me, I needed a good shave, and I smelled rancid. I wrapped the towel around me as I stepped out and turned the water off. I stepped out of the door, greeted by a waiting Val sitting on my bed. She had clothes laid out for me that were next to her, so I went to grab them and walked back to the bathroom. I slipped into my undergarments, a pair of shorts, and a Danzig shirt. I dried my hair out, and put it up into a sloppy ponytail. My hair was still a dark purple, but brown roots were pretty grown out as well. I made a note to go get that redone.

I fixed up my makeup, that only being a thin layer of eyeliner and mascara. Val smiled at me as I emerged, and I grabbed my bag and my phone, which sat untouched on the charger for the past 6 months, collecting dust. “I’m happy that I have you, Val. You came over every day, sent my bills off, brought food,” I said as I slipped into my Converse.

“You’re one of my best friends. I wouldn’t just leave you alone with all of this. We all know you’re going through a hard time,” she pulled me into a hug, which I awkwardly returned.

“Thanks,” I said into her shoulder.

“No problem. But come on, let’s go,” she grabbed my hand, dragging me out of my apartment, only allowing me to stop so I could lock up the house.

“So where are we going?” I asked.

“I thought we would go out for lunch or something, walk around, go see the guys, maybe. They’re really worried about you. So is Saleigh,” she said, glancing at me sideways as we walked to her car. I got into the passenger side, as she got in the driver’s seat.

“Sounds like a plan. Better than doing nothing, I guess,” I mumbled as I played with the hem at the bottom of my shorts.

“Right,” she chuckled, “I’m just happy to get you out of the house, you know?”

“Yea,” I said as she pulled up to a small coffee shop called Beanz. We always came up here, or, we did before the incident, as we call it. I can’t tell you how much of a coffee addict I am, so I guess you can only imagine. We got out of the car, and strolled into the small shop, happy to see that there was no line to the counter. I instantly ordered, and went to the other end of the counter to wait for it with Val.

“Just like the good old times, right?” Val smiled and looked down at me, and slightly nodded my head.

“Yep. Good old times,” I said, awkwardly inhaling. I haven’t really had a real conversation with anybody since the incident, and I had to admit, this was a lot better than sulking in my bedroom. I couldn’t get over thinking about what it was Jimmy was trying to keep me safe from. It had been gnawing at my curiosity, and I couldn’t help but wonder. I was taken from my thoughts as my beverage was placed in front of me, so I grabbed it, while Val grabbed her order, and we went to go sit down in a secluded corner.

“Are you doing alright so far?” She asked, giving me a sympathetic look, and I nodded, again.

“No breakdown yet, so that’s a good sign, right?” I asked, looking at my cup.

“Very good,” she smiled widely, “So do you wanna go see the guys and Saleigh after this?”

“I love how you put an ‘and’ between the guys and Saleigh. Saleigh is a guy, so she’s convinced me,” I snorted jokingly, causing her to laugh. I didn’t know where the joking came out from, but it honestly felt good.

“So is that a yes?” she asked, taking a sip of her drink.

“Of course.”

,,,

“She lives,” Matt shouted as I came through the door of Brian’s apartment, where everybody was. He gave me a tight hug, taking the absolute breath out of me.

“Yeahh,” the word trailed off in my mouth as I tried to match his enthusiasm.

“Holy shit,” Brian came up, staring at me like I had a third eye, then hugged me just as tight as Matt had, or possibly even tighter, “I missed you so much,” he said, and pulled away, still holding onto my shoulders, “are you feeling okay? Do you need anything,” so much concern had filled his voice, and I shook my head slightly.

“I’m good, thanks, though,” I forced a smile on my face, and he brought me back into his arms.

“I’m so happy you’re out,” he said as he squeezed me into his chest. I managed to bring a hand up and lightly pat his back.

“I was dreading this return,” I heard Saleigh’s voice, so I managed to squirm out of Brian’s grasp and look at her. She looked the same, but different. Her hair was a lot longer, and she had dyed her hair blonde. I examined her, and then went on to what she was wearing. I almost burst out in laughter at her denim skirt, also noticing she wasn’t wearing a band tee. I was on my knees, gasping for breath while clutching my stomach. I looked back up, wiping the tears from my eyes when I noticed Brian and Zacky’s mom now standing next to her. I immediately straightened up, and tried so hard to contain my laughter.

“Payden,” Brian’s mom’s face grew into a huge smile, and she came over to give me a delicate hug, which I returned, “I don’t know why she did that to herself, either,” she whispered into my ear, and a small chuckle escaped my lips.

“Hi Mama Gates,” I smiled at her, then looked at Zacky’s mom, “Hey Mama Vengeance,” she then smiled and also came over to hug me.

“Hello, dear. How are you doing? I heard about-“

“SHH,” Zacky quieted her, and when she looked back at him, he gave her a ‘shut up’ look, and she nodded in understanding.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and hugged me again. I had tears in my eyes that wanted to escape, but I wouldn’t let them. Once she let go of me, I walked over to Zacky and Saleigh. I picked up a strand of her hair in my hand, and looked at her puzzlingly, and she just shrugged, so I looked at Zacky, and he hugged me.

“Hey,” he said, “nice to see your face again,” he let go and smiled at me, and I turned back to Saleigh. We both went to hug each other, and it was a very, very awkward sight, so we just gave up, and smiled at one another.

“You don’t look like you,” I started, “you actually look like a girl.” I said, biting back my smile as she scowled at me, and her face softened a little bit as she looked past my shoulder, and a look of confusion hit her until she looked back at me.

“Can I talk to you alone?” she asked me, and my eyebrows furrowed together.

“Sure…just…don’t kill me,” I said, and she grabbed my arm as she led me outside, and we started walking down the street.

“So, Brian,” she started, and I looked at her weirdly, “I don’t know what’s up with him, but every time your name is mentioned, he acts funny. It’s weird,” she told me, and I brushed it off, not wanting to dig too deep into it.

“Okay, he acts funny with everything. But…why are you dressing like this?” I stopped and turned to her, motioning towards what she was wearing.

“Um…I ran into Zacky’s ex,” she admitted sheepishly.

“Okay? You’re never self conscious. What’s changed?” I asked.

“You know how he was head over heels for her, and she left him. I don’t want him getting bored with me,” she said.

“Yeah, and he got over her, because of you,” I said, and turned back towards Brian’s apartment.

“You’re right,” she sighed, “Man. Why the fuck did I do this to myself? See, this is why I need you,” she pouted, and I couldn’t restrain my laughter.

“You’re such a fucking retard,” I declared as we entered the apartment again, and all eyes landed on us, and an awkward feeling came over me, “Well, I’m going to walk home,” I said as everybody looked at me.

“I’ll drive you,” Brian offered, and I shook my head.

“I want to walk. Haven’t done that in a while,” I said, rocking back and forth on my heels, “so I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” I threw in, and smiles grew on their faces.

“So we WILL see you again? This isn’t like, a onetime thing?” Matt asked, and I shook my head.

“You’ll see me ag – wait. Where’s Johnny?”

“You don’t want to know,” Saleigh grinned, and I rolled my eyes before disappearing through the front door. I started towards the huge park that would lead to my apartment. It was filled with benches, grass, and trees, and it honestly creeped me the fuck out. As I went on my journey through the trees, I kept seeing his face everywhere, peeking behind a tree, a few times I went to go check it out, and it would be absolutely nothing. I was starting to think I was losing a grip on my sanity when I finally reached my front door, grabbing the key and unlocking it. I turned around once I got in, and rested my head on the door.

“Payden,” his voice was very clear, very close, and I was very confused. I slowly turned around, scared of what was going on, and my heart nearly stopped at the sight in front of me. A very familiar tall and lanky silhouette with dark brown hair cut asymmetrically, and a labret piercing. His crystal blue eyes pierced me while I tried to contain my voice, much less, my breath.

“Jimmy?”

©Shannon.

Notes

Oh man. Is it really him?

xoxo, Shannon.

Comments

@Avenged foREVer
Yes, hello, I was confused writing it.
We can both be confused together.

This is the importance of plot creation prior to writing LOL.

snuff; snuff;
7/3/18
Ok wtf happened?I am sooooo confused!I love the story so much but it fucking pissed me off at the same time because I have no mother fucking clue what happened!Pleeeease get back to me about that!But it was amazing and had me on edge the WHOLE time!And there were so many parts that made me laugh my ass off which I thuroughly enjoyed!!Really great just fucking confusing.Especially the last line.Why would they all be going to hell?
Avenged foREVer Avenged foREVer
11/20/12
more please :)
cant wait for more :D
Awesome story! cant wait for more update soon please