If You Leave Before Me
Chapter 1
If you leave this world before me
I promise to you I shall keep
I won't fall in love with another one
Over your ashes I shall weep
If you leave before me
A promise I never will tell
About all the things we talked about
Our dark secrets I'll keep well
Aren't you glad, there ain't nobody listening?
Aren't you glad, that no one seems to care what we do?
Aren't you glad there ain't no one here to tell us what's right or wrong?
While we sit and we talk about nothing
What if there's no God in Heaven?
What if there's no God at all?
I promise these last years of loving you
Will be the best years of them all
This don't look like Heaven
I'm surrounded by fiery walls
For if I were to live here without you
That'd be the greatest sin of them all
He was born July 7th, I was born July 15th. Unbelievably it had all been planned out perfectly by our mothers. They grew up together as close as if they were sisters and when it was time to add to their respective families, they decided that just like everything else they did together--child birth would be no different. Brian came and a mere 8 days later, I followed. The plan had been for us to both be girls--but Brian was never one to play by the rules.
We lived on the same block, 3 houses apart. We learned to crawl together, talk together, walk together and even learned to drive together. He would even submit to playing Barbie's and dress-up with me; which he'll never admit to anyone.
Brian and Rachel, Rachel and Brian; we were a packaged deal and everyone knew and accepted that. We were very loving and affectionate to each other, but in a non-sexual way. When it came time for us to start dating, our friendship often posed a huge threat. Girls got jealous of me and guys didn't want Brian near me. We always bounced back from break-up's rather quickly because that meant we could be with each other whenever we wanted and no one could say anything about it.
I had moved from Huntington Beach to Los Angeles about 3 1/2 years ago for a job and religiously every weekend I'd drive to Brian's or he would come to LA. It was less than an hour's drive and had become a routine.
"Junior!" I yelled as I slammed the driver's side door of my black Mustang GT. It was Friday night and the sun had just set when I arrived at Brian's house.
"Are you from the FBI?" Brian took a sip of his beer before laughing, standing on the front deck of his house with Jimmy and Johnny taking cigarette break.
"I left straight from work, dick!" I yelled back as I slung my overnight bag over my shoulder and headed for the front door.
Strewn about the living room was Leana, Lacey, Gena, Zacky, Matt and Val laughing, drinking beer and goofing on each other. "Hey Rachel!" they greeted collectively when I appeared inside.
"Hey guys," I smiled and threw my bag on the tiled floor of the foyer.
"Beer's in the kitchen!!!" Brian screamed at the top of his lungs when he came through the sliding glass door from the porch. He had obviously started his drinking binge hours ago. He was one of the silliest people I've ever known, but get some alcohol in him and he's like a 3 year old who had just eaten an entire bag of sugar.
"Jesus," I covered my ears, squinted my eyes and clenched my teeth, "inside voices, Junior!"
Everyone laughed, including Brian. I was the only one that called him Junior with the exception of his family. Growing up as extended family had made the name stick in my vocabulary.
He sat his beer on the kitchen table and came running at me full force, scooping me up with his arms around my waist and playfully body slamming me over the side of the couch, collapsing on top of me, almost taking out Gena and Zacky in the process.
I was laughing so hard I could barely catch my breath. "Let me up!!! You'll ruin my work clothes," I gasped.
He rolled head over heels off the couch and took my hands to pull me to my feet. "Go to your room and fucking change then," he instructed as he pointed towards the stairs.
As I turned to gather my bag and head upstairs to change, Brian slung his body down on the couch between Gena and Zacky.
"Why aren't you guys married yet?" Zacky asked as he playfully punched Brian's thigh.
Brian's head flew back against the couch with a chuckle. "I might as well have been her brother! She doesn't look at me that way."
"You haven't told her that you've been jerking off to her pictures since 6th grade?" Jimmy teased relentlessly--rolls of laughter erupted around the room.
"Sssshhhhh," Brian slurred sheepishly, taking the teasing in stride. "She might find the evidence."
"She might dig you as more than a brother, Brian," Val being the voice of reason. "Have you ever asked her?"
"Will you guys give it a break? I've had to hear this from everyone since I hit puberty," Brian took a large chug from his beer.
Jimmy suddenly jumped on the coffee table in front of Brian and began singing Whitesnake at the top of his lungs, "Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this the love that I've been searching for? Is this love or am I dreaming?" He dropped to his knees using his beer bottle as a microphone and sang even louder, "This must be love cause it's really got a hold on me!"
Everyone busted out laughing yet again at Brian's expense as he jumped up from the couch and grabbed Jimmy, throwing him over his shoulder. "That's it for you, you little shit!" Brian managed to stumble out the back door and throw Jimmy in the pool. He laid at the pool's edge on his back, holding his stomach in pain from laughing so hard.
Everyone else had followed the ruckus outside to see how it would end. Brian stood back up and walked to the edge of the diving board. "There can only be one Highlander!" he screamed at the top of his lungs before doing a front flip in the pool.
I came outside to find everyone standing alongside the pool, wondering why the hell they were out there. I saw Brian swim over to Jimmy and playfully dunk his head under the water before hugging him, both of them in hysterics.
"Welcome home," Matt grinned at me.
I promise to you I shall keep
I won't fall in love with another one
Over your ashes I shall weep
If you leave before me
A promise I never will tell
About all the things we talked about
Our dark secrets I'll keep well
Aren't you glad, there ain't nobody listening?
Aren't you glad, that no one seems to care what we do?
Aren't you glad there ain't no one here to tell us what's right or wrong?
While we sit and we talk about nothing
What if there's no God in Heaven?
What if there's no God at all?
I promise these last years of loving you
Will be the best years of them all
This don't look like Heaven
I'm surrounded by fiery walls
For if I were to live here without you
That'd be the greatest sin of them all
He was born July 7th, I was born July 15th. Unbelievably it had all been planned out perfectly by our mothers. They grew up together as close as if they were sisters and when it was time to add to their respective families, they decided that just like everything else they did together--child birth would be no different. Brian came and a mere 8 days later, I followed. The plan had been for us to both be girls--but Brian was never one to play by the rules.
We lived on the same block, 3 houses apart. We learned to crawl together, talk together, walk together and even learned to drive together. He would even submit to playing Barbie's and dress-up with me; which he'll never admit to anyone.
Brian and Rachel, Rachel and Brian; we were a packaged deal and everyone knew and accepted that. We were very loving and affectionate to each other, but in a non-sexual way. When it came time for us to start dating, our friendship often posed a huge threat. Girls got jealous of me and guys didn't want Brian near me. We always bounced back from break-up's rather quickly because that meant we could be with each other whenever we wanted and no one could say anything about it.
I had moved from Huntington Beach to Los Angeles about 3 1/2 years ago for a job and religiously every weekend I'd drive to Brian's or he would come to LA. It was less than an hour's drive and had become a routine.
"Junior!" I yelled as I slammed the driver's side door of my black Mustang GT. It was Friday night and the sun had just set when I arrived at Brian's house.
"Are you from the FBI?" Brian took a sip of his beer before laughing, standing on the front deck of his house with Jimmy and Johnny taking cigarette break.
"I left straight from work, dick!" I yelled back as I slung my overnight bag over my shoulder and headed for the front door.
Strewn about the living room was Leana, Lacey, Gena, Zacky, Matt and Val laughing, drinking beer and goofing on each other. "Hey Rachel!" they greeted collectively when I appeared inside.
"Hey guys," I smiled and threw my bag on the tiled floor of the foyer.
"Beer's in the kitchen!!!" Brian screamed at the top of his lungs when he came through the sliding glass door from the porch. He had obviously started his drinking binge hours ago. He was one of the silliest people I've ever known, but get some alcohol in him and he's like a 3 year old who had just eaten an entire bag of sugar.
"Jesus," I covered my ears, squinted my eyes and clenched my teeth, "inside voices, Junior!"
Everyone laughed, including Brian. I was the only one that called him Junior with the exception of his family. Growing up as extended family had made the name stick in my vocabulary.
He sat his beer on the kitchen table and came running at me full force, scooping me up with his arms around my waist and playfully body slamming me over the side of the couch, collapsing on top of me, almost taking out Gena and Zacky in the process.
I was laughing so hard I could barely catch my breath. "Let me up!!! You'll ruin my work clothes," I gasped.
He rolled head over heels off the couch and took my hands to pull me to my feet. "Go to your room and fucking change then," he instructed as he pointed towards the stairs.
As I turned to gather my bag and head upstairs to change, Brian slung his body down on the couch between Gena and Zacky.
"Why aren't you guys married yet?" Zacky asked as he playfully punched Brian's thigh.
Brian's head flew back against the couch with a chuckle. "I might as well have been her brother! She doesn't look at me that way."
"You haven't told her that you've been jerking off to her pictures since 6th grade?" Jimmy teased relentlessly--rolls of laughter erupted around the room.
"Sssshhhhh," Brian slurred sheepishly, taking the teasing in stride. "She might find the evidence."
"She might dig you as more than a brother, Brian," Val being the voice of reason. "Have you ever asked her?"
"Will you guys give it a break? I've had to hear this from everyone since I hit puberty," Brian took a large chug from his beer.
Jimmy suddenly jumped on the coffee table in front of Brian and began singing Whitesnake at the top of his lungs, "Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this the love that I've been searching for? Is this love or am I dreaming?" He dropped to his knees using his beer bottle as a microphone and sang even louder, "This must be love cause it's really got a hold on me!"
Everyone busted out laughing yet again at Brian's expense as he jumped up from the couch and grabbed Jimmy, throwing him over his shoulder. "That's it for you, you little shit!" Brian managed to stumble out the back door and throw Jimmy in the pool. He laid at the pool's edge on his back, holding his stomach in pain from laughing so hard.
Everyone else had followed the ruckus outside to see how it would end. Brian stood back up and walked to the edge of the diving board. "There can only be one Highlander!" he screamed at the top of his lungs before doing a front flip in the pool.
I came outside to find everyone standing alongside the pool, wondering why the hell they were out there. I saw Brian swim over to Jimmy and playfully dunk his head under the water before hugging him, both of them in hysterics.
"Welcome home," Matt grinned at me.
I like this alot
6/25/14