Swallowing Light

Something inside Hanna was shaking, she'd never felt so scared in her entire life as she walked up to the pharmacy, she dropped off the prescription knowing she’d have to come back in a couple hours to pick up the pills – she couldn’t wait if she was being honest. Taking a breath she ran a hand over her face the realization that she was actually pregnant was washing over her and she didn’t really know how to handle the emotions that were building up in side of her. She walked over to the vitamins section and let her eyes scan the isle, she wasn’t even sure what she was looking for when she spotted it; the box was pink and had the outline of a pregnant woman on it. Hanna felt the gravity of the situation slam down on her with impressive strength and she felt as if the wind had been knocked out of her; she was pregnant with Jimmy’s baby – what if this ruined things between them?

"It's not that bad you know," the voice of a woman next to her startled her out of her trance, making her force a smile.

“I’m not so much as scared, per say,” Hanna murmured as she looked at her, “It’s just.. I don’t want to ruin my friendship with the baby’s father and he doesn’t know yet so I’m… I’m more scared of losing him,”

" Don't stress yourself over it, if he doesn't accept it then boo on him, he isn't worth your time." she said to her honestly, it made her feel a little better but Jimmy was a huge part of her life – if he just walked out on her she’d be shattered.

"That's the thing, I've known him for fifteen years, and he is more then worth my time." she told the blond next to her.

"That's a long time, well if he is your friend he will step up and be the man you need him to be," she stated as she looked at the girl, “Just don’t worry too much if things don’t go the way you want them too,”

"Thank you, for that...I needed It." she said as she grabbed two boxes of vitamins so she wouldn't have to come back for a while.

"My name is Grace, I have two sons." she said smiling a little as she held her hand out.

"Hanna, I have one in the oven." Hanna laughed as she looked at her shaking her hand.

"Oh, nervous?" she asked with a bit of a smile.

"A little," she said nodding, “but I can do it, I know it will be hard but I know I can do it."

"Well here is my number, if you want to talk or need someone to confide in, I'm here." Hanna looked at the woman for a moment before taking the number from her – she’d need this probably if she needed any advice, her mother didn’t remember much about being pregnant or so she was told. As they parted ways she felt a little more at ease with the situation at hand – the only hard part for now would be telling Jimmy.
Hanna had finished paying for her items and holding the bag in her hand as she looked at her phone to see if she had any messages, when she looked up she saw Jimmy, Matt and Val all walking towards her with concerned looks on their faces. In a panic she shoved her bag into her purse and gave a weak smile, “Hey,”

"Hanna! I thought you were sick." Jimmy frowned going over to her.

"I am, I dropped off my prescription," she half lied to her best friend, she was kind of sick in a way but it’d be gone soon – or she hoped it would be. “Can we talk? It’s kind of important,”

“Of course,” he smiled at her brightly, “I was just here to get the stuff to make you soup,”
“More like so I could make you soup,” Val smiled a little as she scowled at Jimmy for a moment making Hanna laugh.

"I'll see you two later," Jimmy said with a grin on his face, he grabbed Hanna’s hand and let her lead the way to her car. A thousand more emotions ran through her body as she walked him – this was it, she had to tell him now because if she didn’t she swore she was going to explode. Hanna unlocked the car and climbed into the driver’s seat before laying her head back, she needed to calm down her blood pressure was probably through the roof – that couldn’t be good for the baby could it?

"What’s wrong?" he asked her gently, a serious look on his face.

“I don’t want you to hate me,” she said softly as she looked at him, her eyes were already welling up with tears as she moved her eyes to her hands.
“I could never hate you – Hanna… what’s wrong?” Jimmy asked as he took her hands in his forcing her to look into his icy blue eyes. The concern was there, and it took all her will not to burst into a fit of sobs as she reached into her purse and grabbed the blood work sheet that the doctor had given her out – she placed it in his hands.

He took the paper then looked at it reading everything it said before looking at her again, he didn’t say anything for a long while and Hanna didn’t know how much more of this silence she could take. Just by looking at him she could see the shock written on his face, when he finally looked at her he brought her into his arms, “I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he kissed her head gently, she could hear him sniffling and she didn’t know if this was good or bad that he was crying.

“You’re not mad?” she whispered softly and he pulled away.
“No way! My best friend in the entire world is having my baby, who better to do that than you?” he said to her softly as he looked at her.

Hanna felt so relieved when he spoke those words, it was like getting accepted to an ivy league college and she could stop the smile that appeared on her face. Finally, things were going to start looking up and she couldn’t wait to see their little one during an ultrasound.

She looked at him and pulled the vitamins out of her purse, “this is what I was doing, and I dropped off a prescription for the medicine for morning sickness then bought this."

“Do you want to wait to tell everyone?” he asked as he looked at her, “Or can we tell them soon?”

"Whenever you want, we can tonight since Matt is throwing another bar-b-que." she said to him as she looked into his deep blue eyes. There were things about Jimmy that people didn't understand. They figured he was just like every other douche bag that had tattoos; he'd leave you high and dry if he got you pregnant, or he'd fuck you and tell all the details, but he wasn't like that at all. He’d proved them all wrong just now and she was happy that it was him and not some other dude who’d leave her high and dry.

Nodding Jimmy smiled, “That sounds good to me,”

"A baby," she whispered as she looked at him.

"Yeah, my mom is going to be so excited." he laughed a little as he looked at her; she'd never seen Jimmy so calm before. So happy about something yet not acting like a crazy man. She loved it, she adored his crazy and excited personality, she adored how he was being the man she needed right now. Calm and sedated almost compared to how he usually was – but right now calm was good anything more or less she’d probably lose her mind.

"My mom is too, she has been asking me for grandchildren, even though she knows that marriage hasn’t been on the charts for me,” she laughed a little as she looked at him then at her stomach.

"It's okay to be nervous," he said to her, holding her hand in his own. “I know I am."

She smiled a little, “I’m just nervous about the delivery," she murmured to him gently.

"Oh well, I would be too if I had to push it out." he said jokingly and she hit his arm making a face.

"I hope it's a boy," she murmured.

"Well, I hope it’s girl cause then I can help you dress her in cute outfits. “He grinned making her laugh.

"Well then, if we have a girl you can dress her up as much as you want, and I’ll do the same if it’s a boy,” she told him as she kissed his cheek lightly, the small sign of affection was common between the two of them, even if the others teased them about it.

"Here come Matt and Val," he spoke as he nodded in the direction they were coming from "Should we tell them now?"

“It’s their party, it’d be rude not to inform them,.” She said as she chewed on the inside of her cheek – she wasn’t too excited about seeing their reactions.

Nodding he opened the car door and climbed out; she did the same and waved them over. Val smiled at the pair and Jimmy put his arm around Hanna which was nothing new in their friendship so the pair approaching them thought nothing of it. "Hey, what's going on?" Matt asked with a dimpled smile as he looked at them.

"Hanna is pregnant." Jimmy said squeezing her arm. Val looked shocked, Matt looked ecstatic - he knew the baby was Jimmy's just by the look on his best friends face.

"H-how?" she asked, for some reason Hanna knew she thought it was someone else’s baby.

"You know the party like two months ago?" Jimmy said to her and she nodded then frowned a little.

"How are you going to handle this?" She asked Hanna.

"With me by her side, I am the father you know." Jimmy said to her, Val was not happy about this for some reason. She'd always been against Hanna and Jimmy being together and no one could ever quite place why. Brian thought it was jealousy, but Zack thought it was their age difference but he didn't really see the big deal about it.

"Hanna you're only 20," she said to her with an expression neither of them could quite place.

"So? I have the money and the time, so there is no reason for me to not have this baby. End of discussion." she said to her holding her hand up.

"We're telling everyone else at the barbecue tonight, any objections?" Jimmy asked, looking at Matt and Val who shook their heads. "Great!"

Hanna was scared, she didn't know if she had the makings of being a mother, but she was willing to try. She knew both their parents would be really excited, considering they'd been pushing them together ever since Hanna was legal. However, right now there was no time to be scared; she had to be brave for this baby and that is what she was going to do.

Notes