Swallowing Light

At the ripe age of twenty one Hanna had many accomplishments under her belt. She had gotten an internship at a hospital there in Huntington and was being paid for it and now that she was graduated she was making somewhere around sixty grand a year – and for a twenty year old that was a lot of money. She was sitting in Jimmy’s backyard for a party he was throwing in celebration of his being newly single – which she couldn’t help want celebrate probably more than the others.. She watched him rein act what happened at one of their shows.

Hanna knew his career was his life, and he wouldn't dream of having it any other way. She laughed and sipped her soda; she wasn't too big on alcohol which took the guys and their girlfriends by surprise. Hanna drank, but she only drank hardcore alcohol - she was really picky about what kind it was too. Everyone knew if Hanna was drinking then they'd easily be spending about eighty bucks on liquor. It took a lot to get Hanna wasted – she was a heavy weight champ if they’d ever seen one, for someone who didn’t really drink as often as they did – they were surprised.

"I brought the good stuff!" she heard Zacky yelled from the doorway of the house and the guys hollered knowing that Hanna would finally join them in their alcohol play. She cursed, she hated it when they did this to her - she really shouldn't be drinking but she could never turn down a good time with her friends, even if drinking wasn’t necessarily factor in how much you were having. Hanna rubbed her face in disappointment of her friends, they always tried to get her drunk; more often than not they won.

Zack poured Hanna a shot and handed it to her, "what is it?" she asked him and he grinned.

"Vodka," he said, she scowled at him taking the shot. Vodka messed her up in about two shots after a few beers; she smiled as she began to feel warm.

"Fuck that shit burns." she said as she shook her head and taking Jimmy's beer from his hand and sipping some of it.

Six shots of straight Vodka, and six beers later Hanna was laying on the ground by the pool seemingly motionless with Jimmy laughing harder then she had in years. "Jimmy, Jimmy." she said looking at him and he looked back at her smiling drunkenly.

"Yeah?" he said sipping his beer as he sat up on his elbows to look at the brunette girl next to him.

"I love you, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me" she said as she leaned up and kissed him her hands on both sides of his face. Jimmy, even in his drunken stupor, was shocked who wouldn’t be? His best friend had just confessed her love to him, and while they had done this jokingly more times than he can remember this time felt different . He didn't push her away through, his long fingers tangled themselves in her dark brown hair as his lips worked over hers. Hanna moaned into his mouth allowing his tongue to slide into her mouth, a groan fell from his own lips as he laid her onto her back straddling her hips as he kissed her.

The guys who weren't near as drunk as they were hollered at the two as they made out on the concrete. They had been waiting for this day for a long time, and they it would only be a matter of time since they had been closer than usual. His slender fingers ghosted over her stomach, bunching the fabric up as the kiss seemed to grow animalistic and desperate on both ends. Jimmy stood up helping her with him, and the two disappeared into the house not to be seen for the rest of the night.

----

The sun that was coming through the window felt like hell on her face and Hanna groaned as she covered her eyes. “Stupid sun," she muttered.

She rolled over onto her back felt a body next to hers, she looked seeing it was Jimmy and smiled; and then she realized something. "Oh god, oh god I'm naked." she said as she sat up and peeked under the covers. Sure enough, so was Jimmy.

"Shit, shit," she said and shook him away; he groaned and slapped her hands away.

"Jimmy we had sex." she said and he popped up and looked around looking slightly worried and confused then he nodded a bit.

"So we did, okay well, we're okay right?" he asked and she nodded a little, she felt a little self-conscious at this point. She wasn't sure how to go about talking about it, this wasn’t something that happened for them - even if she had to say she was secretly pissed she couldn’t remember.

"We're fine," she said to him, he nodded then shrugged.

"Things happen, “He said kissing her forehead. "I don't remember anything after making out with you on the patio." he said to her thoughtfully as he laid down his hands under his head. Jimmy was always cool headed when something that made him nervous happened. He seemed like a normal person mentally one these moments, which made her think the worst – he must be so mad, what if he thinks she took advantage of him?

"It's weird, huh?" she said looking at him and he nodded vigorously.

"Definitely." he agreed as he sat up and pulled his boxers on. Hannah got dressed and chewed on her lip when she saw the scratches on his back.

"Jim, I'm sorry. “She murmured touching them, and he jumped a little.

"You're a sex kitten aren't you, meow!" he said laughing making her blush profusely. "Don't worry about it, its battle wounds I get to show off."

Hanna looked at him and shook her head, “You’re something else, Jimmy," she said as she looked at the blue eyed man before her. He pulled her into his arms kissing the top of her head gently, he didn’t want her to think he was mad and she was positive he wasn’t as bothered by it as he seemed – just shell shocked.

"I know, but you love me anyway right?" he grinned, and she nodded.

"Of course, I'd be stupid not to," she said to him as she kissed his cheek then slid on her flip flops and began walking down the stairs. She felt a little weird walking down to meet everyone but she really wanted a cup of coffee right now, she had a headache and her stomach was making all kinds of disapproving noises at her.

"The walk of shame!" Brian said to them and they both scoffed at him; no in offense but more like ‘puh-lease’.

"This is no walk of shame, Haner; this is the walk of "I got laid and you didn't"...” he grinned at his band mate and best friend forcing a laugh to come out of Hanna's mouth. Val looked at her and shook her head a little, she knew Val didn't approve because she was so much younger then him. However, she honestly didn't care if she approved or not. If Jimmy ever wanted to be with her she would never turn down the chance.

Even after four years her feelings for him had never faltered that had to count for something right? Hanna walked into the kitchen and yawned as she began to raid the fridge for something to eat then walked over to start the coffee pot. Hanna knew Val would have something to say about it – most of the time she loved the woman, but sometimes she was too nosey and didn’t know when to butt out.

"Why did you do that?" she asked Hanna as she sat on a stool behind her.

"I was drunk, Val. It's not like it's any of your business anyway, “she said to her as she grabbed some sandwich fixings out of the fridge and glanced at the blond for a moment.

"I think it is, if you're setting yourself up for heart break." she said as she looked at her seriously.

"Exactly, I'm setting myself up; so why the hell do you care." she muttered as she slathered the mayonnaise onto her white bread.

"Because you're my best friend Hanna, you know this. He is just too old for you, he is going to expect different things out of a relationship then you are." she told her seriously and she sighed.

"Have you thought maybe I don't want to date, maybe I am ready to get married have a few kids? Val, I have a degree in nursing! I am making nearly sixty thousand dollars a year, I'm single, and have no kids I have so much money to spare. I've got two cars, and a house. I've got everything I've ever wanted; I am ready to find the one I want to share it all with." she said to her seriously as she layered the lettuce and tomatoes onto her sandwich then added the ham and turkey.

"I understand that, but how can you be so sure that Jimmy is the one?" she asked quietly.

"How can you be so sure that Matt is the one for you?" she countered.

Val sighed a little and shook her head, “It’s different with he and I, and we’re the same age. You're seven years young-"

"I don't want to hear it, If I fuck up, I fuck up, I don't need another mother patronizing me about this." she said seriously and too the sandwich to sit down with the guys.

"That was some party!" Johnny laughed as Hanna sat beside Jimmy who put his arm around his shoulder. Hanna couldn't help but think that maybe them sleeping together was a good thing, maybe it would put things in motion. She wished she could remember it all though, she was more than sure he was amazing. He was their first time together, very gentle. However by how sore she was she was sure he was anything but gentle this time which she didn't mind.

Johnny was right, that was one hell of a party.

Notes