“Why can’t I just stay at home while you’re gone,” I begged my mom, not wanting to stay at Brian and Jimmy’s apartment while my mom went out of town for a small business trip.

“Because last time, you nearly burnt the house down,” she said in that ‘I’m-pretending-to-be-calm-but-keep-it-up-and-I’ll-put-your-face-in-a-bear-trap’ voice that she always used.

“It’s not my fault eggs are the fucking hardest thing in the world to make,” I said defensively. I couldn’t cook eggs. Then again, I couldn’t cook anything else, either.

“Just deal with it,” she pulled up to the front, where I was supposed to get out, “You are staying with your brother, and his slightly awkward friend,” she told me.

“No,” I pouted, slouching back in my chair.

“Brice Louise Haner, get out of the fu – the car, get your stuff, and walk into the apartment,” she tried to keep her cool, but she was on the edge of breaking. I kind of wanted to stay and piss her off even more, but I opened the door, and went to the back, grabbing my small bag of necessities for this weekend. I slammed the door shut and flipped her off before she drove away. I dragged my feet to the front door, ringing the doorbell until my brother appeared before me, a smile on his face.

“Look who’s here,” he pulled me into a hug. I hadn’t seen Brian in about a year. I really didn’t have time to walk my ass all the way over here. The fact that he only lives down the street from me is far beside the point.

“Gah, mook heuve hneer,” I said, muffled by his chest. I was surprised I was even able to breathe. He pulled me away and held his hands on my shoulders.

“What,” he looked dumbfounded.

“Eat shit,” I said as I ducked out of his hands and walked into the house. I nearly fell over the couch that somebody decided to place 4 feet in front of the door. I threw my bag down, and plopped down on the couch, picking up the remote. He came and sat down next to me, “Where’s Jimbo,” I asked him, flipping through the channels. Nothing was on, just my luck.

“In his room, I dunno,” he shrugged.

“I’m going to go talk to him. You’re boring,” I got up, and headed towards the hallway, but not before I looked back at him, “By the way, you smell like sex and ass,” I told him, and started walking back to Jimmy’s room. I knocked on the door quietly, and heard shuffling of things before he opened it. A smile appeared on his face as he brought me into a tight hug.

“You actually have boobs now,” he said, swaying into the hug.

“Thanks – I think,” I mustered.

“Do you want to come in, it’s kind of really fucking messy,” he stepped aside. He wasn’t exaggerating. There were piles of clothes, instruments, magazines, and gaming devices spilled everywhere.

“Well,” I bit down on my lip, “That black shirt matches that mold stain on your wall,” I pointed to them , and he chuckled.

“That makes me feel a lot better,”

,,,

I was sitting at the dining room table working on a sketch that I had never gotten around to, when yelling had erupted from the hallway, and loud footsteps came through.

“Come here, you little shit,” Jimmy yelled after Brian. Brian attempted to jump over the couch, and instead, caught his foot on the back of the couch, and flying face first into the door.

“I think you’re supposed to open it, first,” I called out after him. He emerged from the ground, and flipped us off before running out. I joined Jimmy where he was sitting on the couch, “what did he do this time,” I asked, knowing my brother all too well. He handed me a broken drumstick with something scribbled onto it with a sharpie. I looked at him, puzzled.

“It was Mike Portnoy’s signature,” He pointed at the scribble.

“Oh, I know who you’re talking about. You’re talking about that guy who I’ve never heard of,” I said in awe, while handing him back his drumstick.

“Yeah,” he said, briefly. A sad look overtook his face, causing me to become concerned, aside from the problem where I seemed to never give a shit about anybody. He shook his head, and looked at the ground. I sighed as I got down on all fours, and crawled in front of him, looking up at him, “What’s wrong, dear old Jolly Green Giant,” I asked him.

“Suck my dick,” he said abruptly, pushing my face into his crotch. My body went limp before I pushed myself up, using his knees.

“I get the feeling we were doing that wrong,” I told him. There was still a bothered look on his face, and I bit my lip as I looked away, and back at him. I sat down next to him again, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Please tell me,” I whispered. He made a motion to where he locked his lips, and dropped the imaginary key between my breasts. I let out a sigh, “Remember, you led me to doing this,” I said, and started tickling his sides. His laughter roared to life, and he was eventually on top of me, holding both of my wrists together in his hands.

“Stop it,” he teased, a smirk crawling onto his face.

“Let me go,” I giggled.

“Will you stop,” he asked very slowly. I nodded my head as I tried to control my laughing, “Okay,” he said, and I continued to tickle him. He grabbed my wrists again, and he body was pressed up against mine.

“Steamy,” I joked, in a rather low voice. One of this thumbs came up to caress my cheeks, and he lay his palm there as he leaned down, bringing me into a passionate kiss. Because of my horrible social skills and the lack of ability to attract a guy, this was my first kiss, and I would rather have no other. He pulled away from me, and smiled, before he stood up, and threw my over his shoulder.

“The couch isn’t comfortable,” he said as he walked back to his room. He threw me down on his bed as he crawled on top of me.

,,,

I mentally sighed as I knew my clothes were joined in the cluster fuck on Jimmy’s floor, so for now I was using his sheets to cover myself up, as he was doing the same. I was in his arms, and my head was in the nape of his neck. He stroked my hair and kissed me on the forehead.

“You know,” he said, “I really like you.”

“I like you, too,” I admitted. I didn’t know where I was getting this thing called courage from, but it made me feel like Batman.

“I was wondering – uh – would you be my – bitch?” he asked. I looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow.

“I’ll be your girlfriend, but not your bitch,” I said.

“Even better,” he said, before kissing me.

***

It had been almost 2 years since the day Jimmy and I started dating. I moved out of my mother’s house, and into Jimmy and Brian’s apartment, where I forced Jimmy to clean his room, and keep it so. It pained me to see that lately, he didn’t seem as happy, and I was starting to think it was my fault.

“Jimmy,” I asked quietly while we were laying in bed.

“Yeah,” he said, monotonously.

“Did I do something,” I asked, really wishing he would go back to the Jimmy that I loved.

“Nope,” he said, “I’m tired.” He said. I sighed and got up, searching for a pair of pants in the dark, and grabbing my car keys. He didn’t ask where I was going when I walked out of the door, I don’t even think he cared that I left. Brian was staying the night at his girlfriend’s, or, with one of them, at least. I got into my beaten up Saturn and backed out. My wallet was always in my car, as stupid as it is to do that, even in our neighborhood. I would go and crash at a hotel, and try to get my mind clear. I wondered what was going through Jimmy’s head, and what was wrong.

Throughout the years, we were always happy, until the past few months. He always seemed out of it, and a lot more mean. Brian had came up to me and asked what had died and crawled up his ass, then suggested it was my dick, implying I have one. I couldn’t listen to music, because my mind was too far out of it, and I didn’t want to hear the sound of anything. I checked into the Ghetto Inn, and walked to my crappy room. It was the closest to where I lived, and I was really tired.

It was difficult for me to fall asleep, not only because of the thoughts on my mind, but because I was scared that something would crawl into my ear while I was asleep. I played over my happy memories, and eventually drifted off.

,,,

I checked out, happy to know that nothing crawled into any of my holes – take that how you want – while I was asleep. I drove back to my house, grabbing a cup of coffee on the way home. My heart nearly stopped when I drove up to see ambulances and police cruisers parked outside of my house, and Jimmy being brought out on a stretcher. I spilled my coffee all over myself as I ran over to him, tears welling up in my eyes.

“Wh-what happened,” I stuttered.

“He’s gone,” Brian came up behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked back at him and his face was blotchy from crying.

“No, he can’t be,” I started sobbing, and he brought me into his arms. I heard the sirens as they got farther, leaving me in my loneliness. Brian pulled a piece of folded up notebook paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. My name was scrawled across the front in Jimmy’s exceptionally horrible handwriting.

“I didn’t read it,” he breathed. I unfolded the piece of paper.

Brice,

I know I’ve been distant lately, I’m so sorry. It’s not your fault, I promise you. I’ve been unhappy and discontent with my life, and none of it’s your fault. You’ve brought me so much joy, and I don’t feel that I deserve somebody as good as you. I may be leaving this world, but I’ll always be with you, and I’ll watch you grow older and fall in love again, with a lucky man. I wish things would have been different, and I would have the heart to stay, but I don’t feel anything, anymore, except the love I have for you, which I’ll take with my to the grave. I’ll see you again someday. I’ll always be right beside you.

Love,

Jimmy.

The tears poured out and fell on the piece of paper; my tears, overlapping the already dried droplets that had belonged to Jimmy. I could never have loved anybody else so purely, and they took themselves out of my grasp foREVer.

(c)Shannon.

Notes

I didn't really have an end goal for this story, but I thought it was short, and a tear jerker.

Man I love Jimmy.

xoxo, Shannon.